He Grew Up

Blood red moon and he was looking up in the sky, gazing at that family of stars who were his hide out companions since his childhood. It was a 31 st night and as usual party n chill mood within the locals. In all of that, he suddenly hears his mother yelling out loud …. as if in pain. He rushed there with his frozen cold legs being just another eighteen-year-old and saw a scene where his mother’s head was miserably bashed on a wall …. he felt the pain in his heart and there was a big bang he could listen to, it was 12 A.M.; he felt like what a start to a year. His mother hailed aloud, his sight was getting dizzy, while pain in his heart was increasing and standing there in front of her, was his own drunk father. Feeling the rage to kill him it was all getting blurred as if after a gun shot and …. now he could hear someone saying “Are you planning to live here forever?”. He stood up quickly, full of sweat, misery and fear …. he was in Zahar Jail.

He got up and said silently ‘’I don’t want to be here forever …. this is not a pace my mother would ever want me to be in’’, and soon realized it was his lawyer calling him off. The day was his final appeal accepted by the court for the crime of killing his own father. As per what he could listen to his lawyer, it was his last chance to get his punishment reduced. All the points were put forth but by that time, his mother had no wounds to show or basically no one to involve, support or even be a witness. This is a world of sweet spoken people and devils do it very enthusiastically, one of them was his own father, so no one ever believed his truthful side. Just like any unbiased judge will, he was sentenced for a lifelong imprisonment, he who was claimed to be mentally sick and dangerous for his own family by some of their relatives.

That day he could see his mother carrying a dead heart. She who suffered all this, for more than those 18 years of their marriage, was all for him. And with a single step, for destroying a living devil he made it all hell for her. She could prepare herself for that physical pain as well as that mental pain offered by that dementor, but not by that pup from her own warm womb. While they were taking him back and when allowed to have some interaction with his mother, she said ….
It was never that pain given, killed me
But my lack of nurturing my own womb will
It was not those tourers that disturbed me
But my child unable to be unlike his father will
It was not about my head being smashed
It was always about you losing your cool to such a miserable person
Calm down my child

Calm down …. I am fine …. he could hear …. and again, he could see his mother’s blood shed forehead. She was all tears and look at the misery, she who needed someone’s support the most, was supporting him. He could see it was all blur again his eyes were all tears, he got up …. those fire crackers were still on. He was in his mother’s lap while she was bleeding, it was like a flash of reality for him where he could see his mother was already suffering enough, where he could see all that effort was to not to let him be what his father was. He had a rush of emotions but now he could not even show his tears, because his mother needed his support. That day he
had her dripping soul in his arms …. she could not accompany him any longer and he realized he had to defend her preaching, her sacrifice all his life. But most important was, he learned the true value of real suffering for one’s own family.

That day he realized he was not up for this presentable world
That day he realized he was not up for some emotional swirls
That day he realized being a devil was one of his biggest fears
That day he realized even he could hide his tears
That day he realized … he grew up!!
[Where: –
Father = Every other perspective bringing agony and rage in life
Mother = Every possible last hope of blossom and happiness
Growth = {Let’s not define it, it being a small part of every moment of profit (like him not actually being jailed) or loss (like him losing his mother) } – and now if you get it, you grow and if not you are about to 🙂

Yogesh Deshpande