Hello folks, today I will be talking about something that as an addiction would seem innocuous but when you tend to think about it, it might leave you in an ambiguity and the story why I chose to write about this topic will leave you intrigued as well. So, I happen to be from Mumbai and one of the most famous things about Mumbai apart from being the “City of Dreams” is Mumbai’s Monsoon. The Mumbai rains are so unpredictable that you wouldn’t know when the mild drizzling turns into a heavy downpour, and sipping a hot cup of chai/coffee with some Vada pav (-most of you would prefer pakora/bhajias) complimented with mild music creates just the perfect atmosphere around. One afternoon I was experiencing the same, and this song from the movie “Bluffmaster” called “Right here Right Now.” started playing on the shuffle and the line “Right here right now, Hai khushi ka sama” ignited some random thoughts in my mind and I thought about penning them down.
Before continuing ahead, I would like you to answer this question “Are you living this life just to get to the end of it?” Most of you must have answered it with a “No.” Yet, not every person lives like they say it. You are baffled now and telling your inner self “No! I live as I say.” but think about the times when your parents and relatives said “Beta, 10th karle uske baad aaraam hai” (Just pass out 10th grade then life is good), then it was the same for 12th, degree and then you are at a job. Did you ever feel if any of it was true? If you said a “No” you will agree that at every stage of your life you always worked upon chasing the next goal instead of just sitting back and enjoying the present.
This belief that happiness lies in the destination or somewhere else rather than present is called the ”Destination Addiction.” For example: If you get a raise, you start thinking that promotion would make you happier than the raise and this cycle continues over and over, now you are more rushed into achieving the next big thing on your list rather than allowing yourself to enjoy the present. The reason that we tend to believe this is because of the “What if’s” that come to our minds regularly maybe during a normal conversation, or when we introspect ourselves just before going to bed. The thoughts like “What if I earned ₹100 more today?” or “What if I get a promotion?” etc. makes us feel sad and we start working on achieving it. I feel, our desire to achieve more is not wrong at all but having that desire and worrying about it, in place of enjoying the achievement in present is the addiction. The conflict happens when the desire for happiness is present, but the pursuit of happiness is never-ending. This leaves us susceptible to the opinions of others while we make decisions, and thoughts of uncertainty to meet the expectations makes us feel guilty/shameful and to maintain our family name, we choose the pursuit of happiness. Now, this might not be our fault to think this way because, even during our school days we were encouraged to learn our curriculums rather than enjoying it just to score marks. Also, we were never asked about what makes us happy during the day, but we were forced to score good grades just to go to a good college in future. Now you might understand how this played a major role in our destination addiction. We were molded in way to think about the future prospects. Anyways, before signing off I’ll share a quote I read on twitter because I feel it sums up everything I talked about so far.
“Being at peace with your life begins with zeroing in on the present and making an effort to be more content with your circumstances.”